The Sea is in my Heart: I Go to where the Succulence is.

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I am here. 

I am home. 

Robes of silk, lush and ruby red surround me. 

And words. All of these words. 

There is so much sweetness and so much movement. So much that feels like the word yes, rolling off my tongue, like a beaded necklace. 

The sultry, bustling evening breaks and gives way to something else--like a cactus being split open and all the succulence inside drips out. 

Jewels. 

Water. 

The sea is in my heart. 

This is what I know. 

And there are many ways of knowing, the kinds they don't tell you in school--

I know through tears

I know through the crackles of the air and the taste of the breeze inside my cheeks 

I know through currents of electricity spiraling up and down my spine

I know through words that come from trees and clouds that look like angels 

I know through my body---my thighs, my lips, my fingertips, my breasts, stomach, eyelids and hair. 

I know through being a woman and owning it. 

Like a weather rod, I taste impressions through my skin. 

There is no guesswork. 

This is my truth. 

And that matters. 

So I roar it out loud. 

And these words feel like shiny pearls slipping through my hands. 

I swim here--in saltwater, in layers of froth like silks in a thousand shades of aquamarine. 

I know here. I trust here. 

I dive in. 

But I don't go too deep. 

I've done that enough--chasing down demons until it seems I am wanting for life and vibrance, wiltered, as through there is nothing left.

I stay in the beauty, now. I fill myself up. 

I go to where the succulence is. 

And I bow down there. 

Nectar like honey, oh, I sip through my teeth. All the goodness there is, I bathe in it, like a bath of milk and jasmine blossoms that saturates me through and through. 

Because in basking in that beauty, comfort, stillness, sweetness, pleasure and truth--

it expands out

And multiplies, in all directions, infinitely. 

It becomes healing. 

The night is sultry. The sun spicy, before it tucks behind the ocean. My skin sizzles, as though chilly peppers were draped on the back of my neck. The world is loud and busy. 

But there is coolness, stillness and truth inside of me. 

Always. 

The yin I so desperately need. The yin the world cries out for in hungry gasps. The feminine force we fear, because it can and will change everything. 

And I shall--

I shall wade in these crisp, sparkling pools. 

I trust this. 

I trust me. 

I am here. 

I am home.