The Freedom in Heart: From Trying to Become Everything, to Just Being Now. (poem)

It is about being naked with ourselves. Period. Done. Finito. End of story.

Here and only here, in the utters depths & pits of our raw awkwardness is where we find all the juicy tools and resources we need. It might hurt. It might be joyous. It might be horrifying. It might be ecstatic. But it is real. And that is what matters, my dear. We need more real, do we not? <3

 

Becoming myself

Is terribly disappointing sometimes. 

Shouldn’t I be louder, wilder, more impressive? 

I wish to,

I used to don a mask of all these things. 

I tried to sparkle in so many ways that were not true. 

But they all burned to the ground in the fury of truth and the harsh fires of reality. 

All I have now

Is the nakedness of my heart 

And my truth

And these tears in my eyes

And these poems spawned in the palms of my hand. 

I have nothing false to hold, to cling desperately onto. 

Becoming myself, 

Is hard and sad and terribly disappointing sometimes. 

But 

It’s joyous, too. 

I drip out in the most mundane moments—

I am tender and passionate fire. 

I am wild in my vulnerability. 

I am soft as the breeze swaying through the ancient trees. 

Mostly, 

I am human, 

Just like you. 

Is that not impressive? 

I am alive. 

We are alive. 

Yes, alive. 

There is no more to become. 

There is now

Only 

To be. 

 

And to sit and soak that in

I thirsted for it, for this gaping authenticity for centuries

It may not be good enough or shiny enough or pretty enough 

But my soul knows not what that any of that means

Being my Self.

Is real. 

Is raw.

Is all I need. 

Impressive or not. 

No need to coat it in a shiny headline. 

I no longer care to wonder about it. 

I shall not question it. 

I shall not shame it away. 

 

Here is my heart, 

Here is this raw, unvarnished, soul-smudged truth

You can stomp on it, look at in disgust and spit on it

But I will still be proudly

Draped in it, 

With a smile stamped on my face—

My heart

My truth. 

This love

Will only deepen. 

It can never be taken from me. 

 

 

Photo: Author's Own.