And so she sat in a sea of sun and the faint plumes of incense smoke
There was nothing left to prove
There was nothing to do
There was nothing to push ahead for—
And this, this was a swift, steady blossoming
To a sort of lusciousness she had never known
But had always hoped for.
This surrender is forever
It is a great bow
Towards the pulse of the universe felt in her feet as they kissed and made love to the fresh blades of vivid springy green grass
Towards the songs of her heart—obscure, soft, weird, wild, sweet, windy, stormy, fiery, all of it
It is a great bow
Towards love, towards death, towards becoming
All of the lost and scattered bits
And away from the fear and doubt she had known so intimately.
And so, she had to hold herself really, really gently.
There had to be room for pools, sapphire pools
For her tears to drip down, like rain
And consolidate in an ocean
That dripped and drenched
Where she could float and soak
Because everything just was.
There was nothing to force.
This surrender is forever.
And it would change the rest of her life
And sure, there would be days filled with doing, with the sweet hum of fresh activity
But in her heart
There would be softness
There would be silence
There would be this lush, growing forest of peace
She finally understood
It was so solid and real.
It was raw, too.
She sunk into the solidity of her body, feet, legs, arms, chest, belly, neck, and head
Wholeness reigns now
And it was not a loud transformation
It was not showy or worthy of a crowd’s applause.
But it felt so good
It was a precious echo in the vast hills of the universe, carved just for her.
It felt like twirling around, holding the stardust truth of her own vibrating soul.
It was a leap—the changing tides of an old frantic, fearful pace
That if she stopped, she wasn’t good enough
That if she stopped, she was worth nothing
So she leapt
By slowing her movements
And sinking into the plushness of an ocean blue chair.
There she emerged, in fullness.
And she said
“I just want to be draped in poetry
Like strings of seaweed
That are plucked sweet, like a luscious red wine.'“